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Have you ever played the boardgame "OPERATION" ? Well think of trying to perform one of those operations
after you have had more than a few alcoholic beverages - okay so that's a normal Christmas in many houses.

SURGEON SIMULATOR is an extremely funny, but very dark, look at what doesn't go on within the confines
of an hospital's Theatre - it is actually more like what goes on in a West End Comedy Theatre.

                 

The controls are purposely the worst you will ever encounter but with a lot of practice - say 7 years or so in Medical
School - you will manage to get the hang of them ... just !  Take a look at your hand for a moment. Now move each
of your fingers (and thumb) slowly and separately whilst turning your wrist, see how much control you have ? Now
try picking something up moving your hand towards it, lowering your hand and then moving each finger towards it
separately. Notice how your index finger knocks whatever it is you are trying to pick up away (or over) before your
other fingers move. This is the way the controls work.

         

Look at the picture (bottom right) and you will see how easy it is to hold the hammer. But when you manage to get a
strong hold you can crack a skull like cracking an egg. Using a Fire Extinguisher is an unusual way to perform such
a delicate operation as a heart transplant, but it can be efficient. Well, okay, maybe not actually efficient, but perhaps
successful ..... sort of!

         

This is just a hoot! A real fun game with more blood and violence than any John Woo / Tarantino movie could conceive.
Your wristwatch falls off while you work - getting it back is like bobbing for apples except you are using forceps (if the
patient is lucky) while digging around in the spleen or stomach - instruments hit the floor (try picking them up again in a
hurry) and the clock is always racing against you.

The sense of unbelievable relief when you finally save a patient (save as in don't kill) - and I really mean unbelievable - is
what makes this such a ridiculously amusing time-spender of an experience. The graphics aren't anything special, but they
are inaccurately visual, the music is like a mash-up of every hospital tv series you have seen and the atmosphere generated
by the ambulance rides - think of performing life saving manoeuvres on a trampoline and you are close - is thrilling to say
the least. 

Just what the doctor ordered !

 

© Chris Baylis 2011-2015