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This is a super crazy, daft piece of nonsense that 1 or 2 players can literally and gastronomically fill themselves on.

I have no idea of what I am supposed to be doing or why, but then when you are running around foresty (and other) realms blasting Pears, Tomatoes, Melons and other types of fruit, with a space-age firework gun or splattering them with a baseball bat, who really cares ?

This is marvellous, sloshy, fun with some of the most enormous and creative Big Boss, end of level, creations.

There I was on my third or fourth game, this time as The Mercenary, being chased by Blueberries while another prickly fruit (I think it was a pomegranate) fired sharp pinkish wedges at me. Having got the pip royally with these I found myself besieged by a multitude of Melon chunks - where's a fruit bowl when you need one ? 

Another character I tried - in fact I tried all four - but just for a giggle my next stop after the Merc was The Boxer and he sure gave a new meaning to Fruit Punch.

Most of these fruity villains fire missiles of some kind but there is another that looks a bit like a Mango (in truth my knowledge of fruit & veg is limited, very limited, but I know a Pea when I see one) that runs along with sharp snapping teeth - I just know that the next time I take a bite out of a vegetable I'll have this in mind.

Characters
The other two characters are the common variety of Garden Ninja and the master of all horticultural knowledge, the Botanist. 

Each character has either 3 or 4 "lives" which evaporate very quickly but when you lose the last one the screen shot is mighty spectacular.

  

  

Okay I cheated. Having played the game for quite some time really, much longer than I had thought - time flies when you're having fun - I went to the internet to see what was being said about Juicy Realm.

The official quotation:  "Juicy Realm is a roguelike game in which players must square off against bizarre fruits all across the world. The line between the animal and the plant world has become blurred, and the food chain has been completely disrupted"

The Order of Things... Disrupted
"Many years in the future, humanity looks upward in despair at plants, now standing atop the food chain. How could they have been so arrogant..."
Only when plants began sprouting arms and legs and developing self-awareness did humanity truly begin to understand the menace that these once photosynthesis-dependent creatures posed. No one could understand how the plants took this large evolutionary leap in such a short time, something that took their animal counterparts millions of years to accomplish. One thing is certain, now is the time for humanity to make their stand in order to stay at the top of the food chain.

Gameplay
As one of the first explorers of the newly discovered plant empire, you must continuously drive deeper and deeper into the enemy's lair. Defeat bizarre and colorful fruits while retrieving new gear, weapons, and resources to defend yourself and expand your base camp.
If you're unable to defeat the overwhelming destructive force of the plant army alone, invite a few friends to lend a hand and help you discover the secrets behind this strange new world.

There, now I know what it is all about - saving humanity from the uprising of the freshly unRooted flora. Makes you feel all warm and rosy doesn't it, knowing that E-Type CARrots, Aubers in Jeans, ample Apples and Pairs that arrive more than two at a time, are hedging towards taking over the world. England have had a "Turnip" for a Football Team Manager (though to be honest I always thought that was a bit harsh on Turnips) and now it is possible we will be ruled soon by King Edward and the Pink Lady crowned during a Royal gala.

I would say that this game is nutty, but I haven't met so much as a Walnut, Peanut or Almond, so I will say that this is a lot of fun for all players who enjoy top-down action games where Nazis and Terrorists have been replaced by Fruit and Vegetable.

  

 

 

 

© Chris Baylis 2011-2015